4 years and 6 days ago, I saw your face for the first time. A part of my heart said you were mine. We were unemployed. Had no savings. The cost of international adoption was easily $30,000. But my heart still said you belonged. God told me he had plans for you. I didn’t know what they were or how we could help you when we were struggling ourselves, but it’s funny sometimes how He fulfills His promises through means we could not imagine. Some of our friends gave money. Some a little and some a lot. Some gave items we could sell in our fundraisers and garage sales. Some helped with the fundraisers. Some bought raffle tickets and t shirts. Some were encouraging. Some were a shoulder to cry on. Some were just nice on a particularly hard day. All of them had an impact on our son’s adoption story whether they realize it or not. Your daily interactions can mean so much to a grieving, longing heart.
God provided. Every step of the way. Every time we needed anything, it became available. We thought finances would keep us from adopting, but God put this child in my heart, and he provided for the process to bring him home.
13+ years ago, our son was born. He was wanted and he was loved. But poverty prevailed. To know that our son was borne by a mother that loved him but had no other choice than to leave him is hard to fathom. I’m sure his outcome – abuse, abandonment, and a life in an orphanage for 6 years, is not what she dreamed for him. I’m sure when she left, she believed she was doing right by him. I hope so much that we come close to the hopes and dreams she had for her son. My son.
Adoption is a hard and wonderful thing. The magnitude of the loss for the child and the birth mother are unfathomable. He will always miss his birth mom. I am grateful to her for what she was able to give my son and I know I can’t fill that space in his heart. I hope she would have picked me for him. To stand in her shoes for this part of his life. I know that she is missing the moments I get to experience.
Today you legally became my son. But, you have lived in my heart so much longer. I didn’t birth you, but you are mine. I am honored to be your mom. I love you Robin James Reel.
Randi Reel
HIAOM Board Member
